Chapter 2 – Part III

Jenny’s bottom lip curled around the rim of her cup. The coffee tasted fresh and hot in her mouth. It was good coffee but Jenny didn’t feel good. She looked out the window. There were lots of people about, hussle and bustle, cars coming and going – another usual day, except it wasn’t. At least, it wasn’t for her. She felt uneasy. This was an important milestone but she wasn’t sure if she was making one of the biggest mistakes of her life in coming here. You see, Jenny was about to meet her father. It had been 21 years!

When Jenny was told her father wanted to see her, her initial reaction, once she got over the shock, had been to ignore the request. He had destroyed enough of her life and there was no way she was wasting another second on him. But, she couldn’t forget about it… about him. Its shadow repeatedly emerged when she least expected it so eventually she decided it was time to put it all behind her and get some answers!

She was now a strong, independent woman and promised herself that she would never cower from him or anyone, ever again. She felt immense anger toward him, which she had fought for years. Of course the initial anger had subsided but this was a burning feeling that just wouldn’t go away. She hoped that meeting him might help her put that to rest.

Having settled into a new family after the ‘siege’ that was her childhood, she couldn’t have asked for better. Her new parents, Joe and Maggie were the best in the world, better than she could ever have dreamed of. She got a new sister, which of course she had never had up until then and life was good. She had even had piano lessons. Her new parents ensured she did well in school and were always there for her. While it took her some time to settle in, she wished she could have had them as parents from the start. They minded her like a mother and father should.

But now, here she was, about to face her past demons. She wasn’t sure whether her father would be drunk or not, he probably would but at least then she would know he hadn’t changed. There were not many people in the café. But, it was a bright morning and she decided if it did not go well, she would go back to work and just forget about it.

Then she saw a frail, old man coming through the door. He looked a bit lost. He appeared small and much older than his years. She recognised him instantly. It was him. He looked around, a timid kind of look but he didn’t seem to see much in his glance. She knew he didn’t know who she was and thought for a second as to whether she should just walk out. After a few moments, she mustered every bit of courage she had and knew what had to be done. She walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and they looked each other straight in the eye. Neither of them knew the appropriate response to give each other so they gave a weak smile to each other and moved to sit over at the table she had been at. He was sober. Jenny asked him if he had given up and he said he had for the past two years and three months.

It was difficult to make small talk with a man who was so familiar and yet, so distant. She had so many questions but she knew in her heart that he probably wouldn’t have the answers, or at least not the ones she was looking for.

As they settled down, they both knew what they had come for. He came to see if his only child would ever forgive him for the years of abuse, to appease his guilt she assumed. And she wanted to see if there was anything redeemable from a man who had been her real life childhood monster.

Check out http://www.stylicious.ie tomorrow for the next installment.